The 5 Universal Truths of Human Interaction (paraphrased from Verbal Judo) 1. Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com. There were physical ones like Judo, Basketball and Soccer as well as academical ones like Math or Literature clubs. But Thompson goes on to detail the tough position you put yourself in if you insult back or refrain from speaking up for yourself: The first principle of physical judo is to not resist your opponent. All people want a second chance when they make a mistake. He says the primary reasons for this are: " (1) Verbal Judo and S.A.F.E.R. Instead we must empathize with that position while moving the person towards a beneficial outcome. George Thompson goes into detail on these in his book Verbal Judo ch. ), Requesting Cooperation to resolve the situation, Clarification, Making a Decision, and Closing the encounter in a polite manner. Using these verbal judo techniques or other de-escalation skills requires training and practice. Ultimately, youre talking seems more friendly, even if the goal is exactly the same. The goal of education is to expand the mind. Wimpy . Verbal Judo teaches you to redirect the energy of an uncooperative person rather than resisting . If you want to improve your Verbal Judo skills, then there are several ways to do so. He also talked about other strip phrases such as "I understan' that sir, but I need XXXXXX." George J. Thompson, Ph.D., is a former English professor and a black bet master of karate. To ask is a sign of respect; to tell is Verbal Judo Quotes Showing 1-29 of 29. I am reading a new book by George Thompson and Gerry Jenkins called Verbal Judo, 2nd Edition, The Gentle Art of Persuasion. A good definition of Verbal Judo is using words to encourage compromise and avoid negative situations for all parties. "Yes it's true, I don't get to decide the assignment of students, but regardless of whether a student is gay, straight, black, brown or white I am committed to working with all of you and that includes making your individual safeties a priority. The Music club also introduced themselves and listed some of the usable instruments. A samurai warrior develops a state of mind called mushin which means the still center. opening. Few people are naturally calm and reasonable in situations of escalating tension or danger. The first step in learning to deal with verbal attacks is to acknowledge that crap is being flung. $$ If you cant empathize with people you dont stand a chance of getting them to listen to you. Copyright 2023 Use in conjunction with empathySlide5 When to use Verbal Judo. All people want to be informed as to why they are being asked or ordered to do something. hb```g`` We love Martial Arts. On the other hand, if you have criticism, never open with praise. You need to develop increasingly sensitive radar to know how youre coming across while youre performing. Can we talk? A close mind makes mistakes, misreads people, and causes aggression to escalate. For instance, simply saying Dont shoot! doesnt show any respect, its also a command and threat and isnt a question, and also has little explanation. Hope you enjoyed this and got value from my notes.This is the 26th book read in my2018 reading list.Here is a list of my book summaries. This allows for a positive conversation to take place and for a verbal solution to be achieved. Dr. Thompson outlines the steps that he uses for traffic stops, each ensuring that the encounter is moving the way he wants as well as setting up the next step. and manufacturers. Before day's end he would request to speak with me in his cell room, where he conveyed his apologies for his earlier threats. LP8CE5~h(wy \YeU)|N+:ayPMlr`{o6rVmpf[a:/-vs6@ Eight: You never! Or You always.Best answer: I know it seems I never help out, because often I dont, but lets talk about it. @.h7mTJpW#sfH6M*d BFTx-D `6@[ DD$ i E*:dr6Uf--\ Find helpful customer reviews and review ratings for Verbal Judo, Second Edition: The Gentle Art of Persuasion at Amazon.com. Lets talk about them. How to use Verbal Judo. View all posts by David Neely. Force options.Your first force option is your presence, body language, facial expression, youve got to look the part.Verbal is your second option. softens the person up to talk and calm down; where 'Calm down' hardens the resistance. 4. "Come here" is loose, lazy, and ineffective language. In Thompson's words, "That phrase would make just about anybody want to throw up.". . "Cause I don't want to go to security, and you put a #*%@! Explain your answer. Passed away in 2011 after year's battling throat cancer. 398 What Is Tone? z}0dFXM{,?d5(y]wYmE8{?]4p~bp=~"|dGilwu[>.npvt[K*.T\WT\X This Japanese martial arts style utilizes Japanese words and commands as part of their training. What is your estimate of MMMs WACC using the market-value weights calculated in question 1b? more professional and less emotional. After all, do you like to be told, "Because those are the rules?" Verbal Judo gives us examples of Strip Phrases that the author uses to strip a conversation or insult of it's power . In short, if you have this new-found knowledge, then you should try your best to use it. All people want to be treated with dignity and respect. Because it flows naturally from our lips! We didnt cover the importance of Identity and peoples need to maintain that identity, even under threat (especially under threat). As a result, injuries on both sides resulting from these alterations were common place. Rather than avoiding Difficult People, look at them as an interesting challenge. You can also create your own strip phrases. Let him start any 'dance' of resistance. The following statement really caught my attention because it works very well. He states that all people want to be: Returning to the previous example, you can see how this plays out in relation to his rules. It doesnt make sense to me and if you could help me understand why it was made it would be much easier for me to follow. But to the subject it means, "Go away-quickly!" According to Dr. George Thompson, there are 5 'Universal truths of human interaction' within Verbal Judo. A famous example of peoples actions and words being incongruent is the Milgram experiment, where participants willingly shocked a hidden actor because an authority told them to. Being more aware when antagonists are trying to upset me and not let myself get upset. He states that all people want to be: Treated with dignity and respect. Those of you who know Verbal Judo know that this is the last verbal attempt in our Five Steps to Persuasion, Step #4, and immediately precedes action should . What Verbal Judo is not, is manipulating people in a negative way. Tactically, "May I chat with you" is far better, for not only have you picked the place to talk, but anything the subject says, other than yes or no-the question you asked-provides you with intelligence regarding his emotional and/or mental state. All people want to be informed as to why they are being asked or ordered to do something. \begin{array}{|cc} Mental model of the three types of people: nice, difficult and wimps. E-Book Overview Welcome to the land of Yrth, a magical realm of incredibly varied races and monsters - including people snatched from our Earth and other worlds by the cataclysmic Banestorm! It emphasizes the importance of treating nice people with respect and understanding the . We completely skipped the 5 Step Hard Style where we learn how to appeal to peoples self interest. When you paraphrase you want to understand their position well enough that the other party says, exactly! You might need to paraphrase more than once to make sure you understand! Only 10-15% of your communication is received by what you say. People hardly ever say what they mean. Passaic County Police Academy, March 16th, 2023. Even though the packaging showed that it was printed elsewhere, I just nodded agreed and said how right you are. "Principle number one: Let the person say what he wants as long as he does what you say. In particular, there is this list of seven . $$. (Determination of appropriate action). I will write more about this in another post, for now here are some references on books that discuss verbal judo to various extents, one of them is written by myself. 62 0 obj <>stream If you can springboard past the insults and focus on the goal you have dis-empowered the other person. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. or . Not only is there the matter they were upset about to begin with, but now they need to defend their reaction to you! You will say it again, and possibly again and again! The second step is to admit that it is being flung at you. By learning this skill, you will be able to improve your conversation skills that will help you avoid both verbal and physical altercations. In the next part of chapter, he talked about strip phrases. Professional Software Developer. But apparently I see the issue differently than you do. Close with praise if its appropriate, or with a non-emotional punishment if that is the right choice. 8 to 5 are emerging as the dominant communications models for public safety. Make a list of your most harmful weaknesses, then name them.#dothis. If youre interested in winning via persuasion in confrontational situations, in the office or at home, I suggest picking up a copy of Thompsons and Jenkins Verbal Judo. a. The goal of education is to expand the mind. It seems to me that he is either trying to bring the reader back to the underlying philosophy of the material in order to drive home his point, or he is simply trying . d. We want to give a soft answer . Dealing . I first learned about verbal judo working with in a juvenile detention facility in Texas. How can you implement this approach in your confrontations or difficult situations? Ignoring or dismissing a question is the same as resisting it. Thompson. Read honest and unbiased product reviews from our users. Most importantly, it will teach you how to negotiate and speak with difficult . How To Perform Ushiro Goshi The Rear Hip Throw, The Best Martial Arts For Blind & Visually Impaired People, How to perform the Uki Goshi Judo hip throw, Chuck Norris still trains well into his 80s, Entrepreneur Gary Vee gives advice to upcoming fighters. You always treat the other person as you want to be treated. Verbal Judo. in our dorm. Strip phrases are a deflector that strips the insult of its power. Thompson. Daniel Ames, the Sanfo. All people want to be treated with dignity and respect. A persons mind cannot be expanded unless he or she is motivated. The ability to stay calm, read your opponent, and attempt to redirect any aggression towards you. We do not telegraph our actions nor threaten people, but we do act when verbal persuasion fails. By working with difficult people you have a chance to sharpen your Verbal Judo skills, understand your emotional triggers, and improve your professionalism. Thanks for sharing the review here. However, as hes not. He calmed down straight away and that is when you may think I showed him the error of his ways. preciate that sir, but all customers are required to bring in 2 forms of identification before we are able to process their paperwork.. The choice is yours! Explain your answer. Praise in behaviors builds confidence and rapport. Throughout the current year, the company had 3 million shares of common stock and a large quantity of convertible preferred stock outstanding. To know and to act are one in the same.The angry man will defeat himself in battle as well as in life. If you deal with cagey street people, or indeed difficult people at all, anywhere, you need to watch your tongue! 1. This reminds me of a story when I was working in an instant printing company. Get ideas for your own presentations. Resulting from these alterations were common place still center place and for a Verbal solution to informed. 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