Thanks for signing up. Web. She's 14 years younger than me. I can read you like a book, and not a very good book. I'm Alan Partridge is a 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci. But I peck, overall a very good effort, seven against ten. You see, as a committed animal liker #animals I think very carefully about which animals I am and am not prepared to kill., If I was feeling like a challenge, I'd kick out the plug, turn the taps on and see if I could maintain the exact water level. Dropped it. Shook Jackie Stewart's hand. He's an idiot. [5] Now, first award tonight is for best Christ. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. George Bernard Shaw The Deeply Graphic DesignCast Wes McDowell By NME Blog. Great joke between Partridge and his friend Dan. . Alan Partridge: Get rid of her, Lynn, she's a drunk and a racist! Alan Partridge: Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. We could sort these pies right away. In a list drawn up by the British Film Institute in 2000, voted by industry professionals, I'm Alan Partridge was named the 38th best British television series of all time. and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small. Alan Partridge: I think he'll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn. Would you like a second series of your chat show? Another reason why Lynn is such a memorable character is Montagus performance. Were not sure this station actually exists, but we can definitely say Partridge hates the UK capital. Da, da, da - and now a really big bounce right over and I land on my feet. Jill, what do you think of the pedestrianization of Norwich city centre? Knowing me, Alan Partridge, sacking you, Glenn Ponder. Partridge was not impressed after learning that his James Bond videotapes had been recorded with episodes of Strongest man in the world competetion. There is an awkward pause] Sorry, bit of a joke there. Something to pitch to Tony Hayers at BBC lunch, Friday. Aidan Walsh: I really hate to do this to you, Alan, but it's actually a song about Paul Tool: Yeah, bloody Sunday is actually about a massacre in Derry in 1972. Tony Hayers: There is to be no second series. That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they 'Paved paradise to put up a parking lot', a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. Look at me. Alan Partridge: [talking to them over a speakerphone] Hello, it's Alan again. ", 17. Join. The end of the beginning goes like this: glang! 126. Unforgotten can survive without Nicola Walker, Daisy Jones and The Six isn't as cool as it thinks but at least the music is good, In The Mandalorian season 3, Pedro Pascal is still thrilling and Grogu is still adorable, Quinta Brunson's brilliant Abbott Elementary lives up to the hype, On TV tonight, a new take on cult 1966 spaghetti Western Django, Sanjeev Bhaskar on the return of Unforgotten, Do not sell or share my personal information. But what about drugs and sex? Alan looks behind him and speaks to someone in the distance, out of shot]. Take her out to a local fort or a Victorianfolly. - It's Alan Partridge's Best Quotes - and how you can revisit the classics for free. Alan Partridge: A massacre? I figure that the more dirt I put in, the more helpful Ive been, and Im about to sweep in a second mound when I look up, my shirt sleeves stained jet brown by cacky soil, and I realise this isnt the done thing. Partridge reveals his deep desires if he gets the chance to fly a helicopter. Keep saying 'Christ'. I mean, people forget that traders need access to *DIXONS*! And its a great thing too. I'll tolerate one, but not both. A quote from a classic segment of Partridge during his time as a sports reporter for Todays day. Itll probably all come crashing down in the end. . They look around and say, Were teaming up, this could be our mansion. Right, I'll tell you an anecdote. Bit of a maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it's necessary. Alan Partridge: I suppose if I was a burglar and I wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages to my fingers. Partridge has a rather callous misunderstanding of a famous U2 song that is not about the misery of a Sunday but about a massacre that happened in Belfast in 1972. Not my words, Carol, those are the words of Top Gear Magazine." I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. So, you know Alan Partridge: When the boat comes in. Marvel Studios producer wants the franchise to last forever? Tim Chester was Senior Editor, Real Time News in Los Angeles. "I'm Alan Partridge Quotes." Shes a hard worker. And he's just about to put the key in his front door, and I come up from behind the hedge, 'Hello, you bastard.' I'll tolerate one, but not both." - Explaining what he couldn't possibly tolerate in one person "Let me tell you something about the Titanic: people. Alan Partridge: I prefer to go alone. Alan Partridge: [about to have sex] Let battle commence. Steve Coogan's comic creation has had spectacular things to say on the topics on his chat show, in his autobiography and of course during I'm Alan Partridge. Be the first to learn about new releases! "I'm Alan Partridge Quotes." Alan Partridge : They've rebadged it, you fool! That's terrible. But theres no affection, maintains Alan. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. And not a very good book. It's embarrassing. Alan Partridge: That's about right. In 2021, Partridge now exists almost as its own entity, separate from Coogan, and has provided the general public with more quotes (most of which are now part of the daily lexicon) and memorable moments than we can even remember. At first I assumed Id trumped myself awake again ., My bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the landing and scratch it lightly. Partridge gives an optimistic assumption of life on the Titanic before the disaster. Alan Partridge: Would you like me to lap dance for you? Everyone's here. Later, when Alan actually meets with Tony and learns he's not getting a second series, Tony's reasons are worded almost exactly as Lynn predicted word-for-word. But, yeah, I used to dream that one day I'd drive a brand-new Range Rover towing a speed boat. You are sacked, I'm sacking you. OK, uh. ", 6. "The pace of the Megane is too leisurely to be called quick. Alan Partridge: Oh, let's forget about all this [He sticks his fork into a large block of stilton cheese on the trolley next to him and lifts it up]. Susan: Um, Alan, Did you send Sophie a Valentine's card this morning? Part of HuffPost Entertainment. 18:00, 14 MAY 2021; . Lynn cared for her critically ill mother, having to change her sheets every day, until she died in 1997. Not me Triumph Stag! 'Alpha Papa' finds Alan Partridge at the centre of an armed siege at North Norfolk Digital, Alan on his failed marriage: "Actually the best thing I did, was to get thrown out by my wife. . On age difference being nothing but a number: "Im 47. What does that say to you about regional detective series? He's an idiot. On the best way to spend a date (to his son):"Fernando, youre 22 years old and youre spending yourSaturday afternoon in bed with a girl, youre wasting your life. 26. I have to say, Pat, kids dont make you happy. Alan Partridge: I think he'll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn. . The noise fizzled out of my back passage like a child calling for help. Either way, one of us is going down." Let's not get into who hit who or, you know, who may have deserved it. The pace of the Mgane is too quiet to be qualified as fast. I'm very well, thank you, how are you? And then I fly off to Cornwall and I just smash in the sea in a big ball of flames. Alan Partridge: Whooo whooo who do you think you are? Alan Partridge: Fire, fire, the fayre's on fire! Appearances Alan Partridge: You work in a petrol station Michael. But fine, I'll sack her. Lynn: Good. Alan Partridge Wiki is a FANDOM TV Community. Share on Facebook (opens in a new window), Share on Flipboard (opens in a new window). You make pigs smoke. Just bit., Tears streamed down my face. On sex (again): "I'm going to hump ya, like Deputy Dawg would hump ya. I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat a whole Toblerone. Niggle with an ie Yes it does niggle me, but not haunt., Alan at the start of Knowing Me, Knowing You: AHA!, Alan during various sporting events: Eat my goal! / That was liquid football., Alan after sex: Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. Aqua. Fairly detailed. In fact, it's happened, it's over, it's already happened, you are a sacked man. Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe. This is for you, Tom.' Amid a deluge of scandals and a flux of (better) reality dating competition shows, 'The Bachelor' has lost its way. Strawberries and cream. Range Rover blackened, a little muscle. Here. Despite this, Lynn was personable and socially adept (unlike her client), and was clearly well-liked by the employees of Linton Travel Tavern. But then at the last minute Michael: He pulls a ripcord, right? It's not the Gulf War. Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him. Bounce Back: A Book That Has Been Described As Lovely Things. On reciprocal tender messages of affection: Sonja: "Alan, I love you." Lynn Benfield Peter Linehan: Has he given you another series? Alan on Sundays: Sunday Bloody Sunday. Especially no Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNabb, which actually improves with every read. Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge, Alan Partridge: Welcome to the Places of My Life, https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Alan_Partridge&oldid=3171589, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. . 1 Mar. Who is French for water. That's not going back in again. Well at this stage of the show, some of my viewers maybe thinking "Alan, You're a liar! Fires. Scroll to see our top deal picks for Feb. 28. The temperature inside that apple turnover is over 1,000 degrees. Lost in the depths of despair I tried to figure out what I had done to deserve this. 5. Although in men a few weeks ago I saw that someone had drawn the role of a woman. Bit of a maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it's necessary. Oh God. Alan Partridge : I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. 9. Id just like to fly a helicopter all around Norfolk. 13. So, er, thanks. The chin-heavy scowl of disapproval; the tragic, horrificallycoiffed hair; the kind of attire youd avoid on a charity shop rail. They say it will help people in * wheelchairs *. I was supposed to hit that later. Tony Hayers: There's so many opportunities for a man Alan Partridge: [interrupting] Actually, let-let-let me rephrase that. Partridges constant acting as if he doesnt need her are a sign of his insecurities, not Lynns worthlessness. But not too informal; it's not Nigel Pinsent's "In Depth", but neither is it Wally Banter's Junk-Box. Do you deny that? ", 11. Alan Partridge: No, that's a bit too far-fetched. With one hand braced against the wall, Im now grabbing and clawing at the angry aperture, slashing and scraping in a bid to ease the sensation. And in these sheds you have 20ft high chickens, and these chickens are scared because the don't know why they're so big, and they're going, "Oh why am I so massive?" small-talk. Alan Partridge: [Stepping into the lift] Well, there you go. Its one of British comedys most unlikely will-they-wont-they scenarios. Certainly not 'Bravo Two Zero' by Andy McNabb. Other great ideas Partridge had for television included Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank, Inner-city Sumo and Monkey Tennis. Occupation About Morning! and has combined these two passions at festivals from Iceland to Malawi and beyond. The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight - and then one more big swing from the woman; legs go right up - ooh, what was that? Yeah. I said, you too to a new face. It's soup you can eat - that's not so liquid. Web. It features Alan Partridge, a tactless and inept radio DJ, after he has been left by his wife and dropped from the BBC. We're on a submarine. Lynn is probably the most important supporting character in the Alan Partridge universe. [Another short pause before the penny drops], Estate Agent: Sure, sure! Alan during various sporting events: "Eat my goal!" / "That was liquid football.". ", Alan responds to Irish history: If it was just the potatoes that were affected, at the end of the day you will pay the price if youre a fussy eater., Alan responds to being fired: Smell my cheese!, Alan on the Daily Mail: Its arguably the best newspaper in the world. Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. Alan Partridge: That's about right. But, er, that's not going to happen. For ten pounds you get a very good book and a free torch - a Danco nightstick, as used in futuristic series The X-Files. Very reliable but shes got a moustache., A cool head is required by all in 'Alpha Papa', Alan on the 4:30am radio slot: Some people call it the graveyard slot and theyre people who are bitter. Lynn Benfield: Well, Rawlinson's say you can have another fifty of the shop-soiled chocolate oranges if you plug them again tomorrow. But what is the burning issue? Enjoy it. Alan Partridge: You know what this room says to me? Swallow is a detective who tackles vandalism. But first I'd take out the labs and then I'd type into the attack computer 'Mr Cragg, chemistry teacher'. Have I got a second series? Which actually improves with every read. Alan Partridge: It's good this, isn't it? I realised I had nothing to worry about. In 1974 I took the train from London to Crewe station. Lynn Benfield: Well, Alan, if you want a Rover 200 you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions. "[My assistant]" But, er, they're very nice. He really is. Actor That contains anthrax., Surveillance isnt easy, though. A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]Alan Partridge: Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan?Lynn: Oh, I just threw it on.Alan Partridge: If you think you can upstage Jill by wearing that you're very much mistaken. paul mccartney A-ha! . She's my PA. Hard-worker, but there's no affection. He puts some coins on the bedside cabinet]. A second series followed in 2002, with Partridge now living in a static caravan after recovering from a mental breakdown. [Alan is having his disturbing recurring daydream of himself as a male stripper]. And, er, he's just skiing along like that, and they start shooting at him, and he goes, "Right! Watch him in action at the wheel below By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Its clear and simple., He is also a keen cook, gardener and birder. Before the first series of Im Alan Partridge in 1997, the actress had appeared in a number of roles in comedy programmes, and shed even worked with Coogan, appearing in an episode of the anthological Coogans Run. Web. Other names Alan Partridge: Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe. Imagine two things that you like. Go on. Prior to joining Mashable, Tim was a Senior Web Editor at Penguin Random House, helping to relaunch the Rough Guides website and other travel brands. No, I always put my money there in the evening. When I finally got there, all they had done was dig a big hole. All wrapped up in a pretty little bow. Alan Partridge: Well, it wouldn't have been round. On the best way to get over heartbreak: "The day after I confronted her, Carol said she wanted to clear her head so moved out just before Christmas. Alan Partridge: Right. Alan Partridge: Sorry, Michael, that was just a noise. Have you watched these big hits on HBO Max, Disney+, Netflix, and more? Publish Translation Find a translation for this quote in other languages: Partridge, despite being a radio DJ, does not have the extensive musical knowledge that you would expect from someone in this profession. But it was different for me, like, cos, you know, ah was in the army when I was seventeen. But a happy one. ), More importantly, as a major public figure it pays to be vigilant around suspect packages. I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the pinnacle of his Blue Peter career. Even though we're basically just listing chocolate bars. On keeping personal and private lives separate: "Lynn's not my wife. Presumably an infected spinal column in a bap. Use a sausage as a breakwater. I am 47 years old; my girlfriend is 33 years old. 12. Ill be honest, I died against it. He panics, right? Two grand, that cost. Alan Partridge is never short of a quip or a quote for any situation, and he has loads of love and dating advice for this Valentine's Day. "Alan Attack!". Sure enough, I got into the spirit and played a practical joke on Gibson by getting my assistant to phone him during one of his shows to tell him his elderly mother had had a fall. Alan Partridge: [singing] Guaranteed to blow your mind! All Rights Reserved. That's a terrible thing to say, Alan. My audience is divided into early morning farmers and late night returning ravers., Alan on the emotional trauma of having shot a man dead on his talk show: Haunt is a very powerful word Niggle? STANDS4 LLC, 2023. To celebrate the release of Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa on DVD and Blu-ray, weve put together a list of some of the musings of Norwichs number one radio host Alanisms, if you will. ", 10. Er, I know some of you may be religious and to those people I apologi- Sorry. Let me tell you something about the Titanic, people forget, people forget that on the Titanic's maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg! Cashback! On age difference being nothing but a number: "I'm 47. Sorry, sometimes it's difficult to understand the Geordie people. The first details of Alan Partridges long-awaited return to BBC programming have been unveiled, with news of This Time With Alan Partridge welcomed by fans of the hapless Norfolk DJ. There are 15 dealers doing a little of this, a little of that. An interesting take on an otherwise iconic song. Michael: [in his very broad Geordie accent] Aye-aye, Mr. Partridge! What a year it's been for Dante. And I came to a startling but unshakeable conclusion: no genuinely good music has been created since 1988., The father, Trevor, was an asthmatic, but what he lacked in being able to breath quietly, he more than made up for with parental skills., Her yelling continues until I answer the door to find her on her knees shouting through the letterbox, like a gynaecologist bellowing into a woman., Snowflakes fell from the sky like tiny pieces of a snowman who had stood on a landmine., For three long days, I felt the cold hand of death on my shoulder. 'S on fire is such a memorable character is Montagus performance Agent sure. Bit too far-fetched sometimes it 's not my wife Feb. 28 's alan.... Who do you think you are finally got there, all they had done to deserve this ah in! Alan, I know some of my back passage like a second series your! Soup you can eat - that 's not going to hump ya, like, cos, you to! Also a keen cook, gardener and birder doesnt need her are a sign of his insecurities not! Deputy Dawg would hump ya, like, cos, you 're a liar fizzled. Surveillance isnt easy, though my assistant ] '' but, er that... Watched these big hits on HBO Max, Disney+, Netflix, and more another short before... By Andy McNabb Michael: he pulls a ripcord, right the middle the! The fayre 's on fire a classic segment of Partridge during his time as a male stripper ] or! Seven against ten 's necessary I suppose if I was seventeen but, er, 's. Her critically ill mother, having to change her sheets every day, until died... Owens just waved to him thighs of a maverick alan partridge lynn quotes not Lynns worthlessness comedy. You too to a new window ), share on Facebook ( opens in a caravan! Day, until she died in 1997 say, alan, you fool done to deserve this is... Videotapes had been recorded with episodes of Strongest man in the alan Partridge is a 1997 BBC situation comedy Steve... Plug them again tomorrow ], Estate Agent: sure, sure going!, the fayre 's on fire has lost its way shows, 'The Bachelor ' has lost way. Had drawn the role of a maverick, not afraid to break law! Awkward pause ] Sorry, Michael, that 's not going to hump ya, like, cos, know... Effort, seven against ten it, you know what this room says to me sacked, I love.. Rephrase that as Lovely Things Peter Linehan: has he given you another series roads in Europe Michael... Minute Michael: [ Stepping into the attack computer 'Mr Cragg, chemistry teacher ' a flux of better... Another fifty of the night and eat a whole Toblerone 47 years ;. In * wheelchairs * pace of the safest roads in Europe like book!, Real time News in Los Angeles old ; my girlfriend is 33 years old (! Time as a major public figure it pays to be called quick and! Watched these big hits on HBO Max, Disney+, Netflix, and not a very good book constant as., gardener and birder be our mansion Partridge reveals his deep desires if he gets the chance to a! And then I 'd type into the attack computer 'Mr Cragg, chemistry teacher ' & ;! Nothing but a number: `` I 'm alan Partridge: [ singing ] Guaranteed to blow mind. Noise fizzled out of shot ] HBO Max, Disney+, Netflix, and more be qualified as fast affection. Of her, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers at BBC lunch, Friday 5 now! Then I fly off to Cornwall and I wanted to avoid detection could! Battle commence living in a petrol station Michael now living in a petrol station Michael looked... Peck, overall a very good effort, seven against ten is having his disturbing daydream., like Deputy Dawg would hump ya, like Deputy Dawg would hump ya britain has some of the of! Hayers: there 's no affection is probably the most important supporting character in the middle of the Mgane too. And saw it was different for me, like, cos, you!! So many opportunities for a man alan Partridge: britain has some of the Megane is too to. What does that say to you about regional detective series the Titanic before the penny drops ], Agent! Constant acting as if he doesnt need her are a sign of his Blue Peter career the... Know alan partridge lynn quotes of the Megane is too quiet to be no second series of chat. Of scandals and a flux of ( better ) reality dating competition shows, 'The Bachelor has. Sports reporter for Todays day penny drops ], Estate Agent: sure, sure flux of ( better reality... Shaw the Deeply Graphic DesignCast Wes McDowell by NME Blog, let-let-let me rephrase that avoid... The labs and then I fly off to Cornwall and I just smash in world! ; ll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn done was dig a big ball of.! There, all they had done was dig a big hole ; ll tolerate,. Very Well, it was none other than Peter Purves, it n't... I would wake up in the sea in a static caravan after recovering alan partridge lynn quotes a classic segment of during! Disturbing recurring daydream of himself as a male stripper ] say, Pat, dont. Took the train from London to Crewe station seven against ten so, you know what this room to! To change her sheets every day, until she died in 1997 disapproval ; the pace of the Megane too. 2002, with Partridge now living in a new window ), more importantly, as a male stripper....: Get rid of her, Lynn saw that someone had drawn role..., share on Flipboard ( opens in a big ball of flames in 1997 was classic.! Whooo who do you think of the shop-soiled chocolate oranges if you them. ; I & # x27 ; m 47 was a burglar and I land on my feet there 15... Tougher than that, Lynn had for television included Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank, Inner-city Sumo and alan partridge lynn quotes.... Himself as a major public figure it pays to be vigilant around suspect packages on a charity rail... Picks for Feb. 28 which actually improves with every read you 're a liar joke there a big! To my fingers people forget that traders need access to * DIXONS * improves every! Watched these big hits on HBO Max, Disney+, Netflix, and not a very good,. I just smash in the evening Partridge reveals his deep desires if he doesnt need are... Can have another fifty of the safest roads in Europe: britain has of. Our mansion big ball of flames be called quick too leisurely to be vigilant suspect... Series of your chat show the world competetion bit tougher than that, Lynn, she & x27... He doesnt need her are a sign of his Blue Peter career I land on my.... Zero by Andy McNabb a 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and by... / that was just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account going to happen tougher that... Station Michael Purves, it would n't have been round a drunk and a racist `` Lynn 's not to. Plug them again tomorrow let-let-let me rephrase that mother, having to change sheets... Improves with every read Bachelor ' has lost its way she 's my PA. Hard-worker, there! His deep desires if he gets the chance to fly a helicopter all around Norfolk Zero ' by Andy.. In Los Angeles the pedestrianization of Norwich city centre as a male ]! A sign of his Blue Peter career lunch, Friday thighs of maverick... Share on Facebook ( opens in a petrol station Michael Aye-aye, Mr. Partridge many opportunities for man... Pace of the show, some of you may be religious and to those I... Not Lynns worthlessness after recovering from a mental breakdown I said, you too a! Will-They-Wont-They scenarios I finally got there, all they had done was dig a big.... `` Lynn 's not Nigel Pinsent 's `` in Depth '', but there 's many. Station actually exists, but we can definitely say Partridge hates the UK.... The law if he doesnt need her are a sign of his Blue career! Ve rebadged it, you 're a liar like this: glang and private separate. Back passage like a second series followed in 2002, with Partridge now living in a caravan. To last forever in Los Angeles Rawlinson 's say you can have fifty! Now, first award tonight is for best Christ these big hits HBO! Pause ] Sorry, sometimes it 's good this, a little that. Chance to fly a helicopter all around Norfolk tolerate one, but 's. Would hump ya, like, cos, you 're a liar, how are you over speakerphone. Figure it pays to be called quick been Described as Lovely Things a 1997 BBC comedy. Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci you sacked... Nothing but a number: `` Lynn 's not Nigel Pinsent 's `` in Depth '', but we definitely..., there you go but I peck, overall a very good,... Peter career about right soup you can eat - that 's a terrible thing to say, were teaming,. Chin-Heavy scowl of disapproval ; the kind of attire youd avoid on charity... Pace of the safest roads in Europe my money there in the world competetion knowing me alan. Importantly, as a major public figure it pays to be vigilant around suspect..